As a leader you will have a sound knowledge in your industry or sector and you will typically need and use following range of communication skills:-

• Presentation skills
• Negotiation skills
• Relationship Building skills
• Networking skills
• Influential skills
• Sales skills

How can we be so efficient and advanced at some things yet our children appear so lost and angry with the world? They are our future, our legacy, so when was it that we forget about them being the most important influence in our lives?

As parents we have the sometimes, overwhelming responsibility to provide, nurture, model and teach the “should do’s” and “should be’s” to our siblings yet we are still learning ourselves.

When our society erupts, the finder of blames comes back to us from the Government as the systems and structures they have enforced on us break down and fail. And whilst they have one finger pointing at them they have three pointing back at themselves we as parents blame the government back in return. In the centre of this is the children. Hopelessness is the child of blame so we have to intervene and stop the cycle now.

As I was sat pondering these issues and what the causes could be I turned the page of my book, “Eat that Frog” by Brian Tracey and read something that inspired me to write this piece.

“There have never been more possibilities and opportunities for you to achieve more of your goals than exist today…….. You are actually drowning in options.”

So what’s the solution?

To be a true leader, first of all we have to lead ourselves and to be what it is we want to see. So if we want honesty then lets be honest and not steal. If we want people to work hard then lets reward that behaviour and stop rewarding inaction and not trying.

Tips

Here’s some tips for parents and carers to grow happier kids and these are techniques for them as adults personally, not only for the to do to and talk at our children. Try at least three of these techniques everyday for 30 days until they become a habit and you will reap the rewards of your efforts and so will your children.

1. Feed positive behaviour and ignore negative behaviour.
2. Love and nurture – Leave kind messages under the pillow.
3. Praise the little things and reward what you want to see more of.
4. Channel your child’s energies to develop direction and focus – Take about where they want to be in 10years. Write is down as a game somewhere to return to another day.
5. Give responsibility and allow the space for error. Failing is merely part of the learning process. If we set smaller achievable tasks we will reap the sense of achievement when we are able to do them.
6. Tell them that they are the most important thing in the Universe. Use positive language. Tell them want you want to see, not want you don’t want.
7. Make your love unconditional. Never threaten to withdraw your love or to bribe them with it.
8. LISTEN – No, really listen.
9. Help them to identify their strengths as these will build their resilience when they encounter future challenges. Tell them when they do something well and drop the “but “, and the “next time”.
10. Give them permission to dream. – Draw it. Make it. Create a vision board.
11. Teach them values and give them moral guidance. What’s important in your house? Honesty? Kindness? How do you want to be treated and what are you expecting of each other? Create a mission statement and display it on your wall together. N.B. This is rules made by you. This is how you want to relationships to be played out in the house and beyond – Your values and morals.
12. Give them time. Time with you, time for them, time to learn, fall and get up again.

We are starting a new Young Leaders and Parent Leadership course in Birmingham.

If you are interested in learning more about this exciting course then contact [email protected]

Sat in a room with the Leaders of the Country, I pondered to myself about how on earth I got to be in a room with THE movers and the shakers of our Great Country.  Then another thought followed this quickly from behind and gripped me with panic – SHIT they don’t know what to do with the Country! They really DON”T know what to do.

My internal chatter continued.

“Why are you surprised?  That was what you thought anyway”.

“Yep, well careful what you wish for”.

“Oh my god, “I replied to myself.” “Why don’t they know? They get paid so much money and they don’t know!”

As the conference proceeded, one Leader after another came and put their Services point of view; The Chief of Police, Leading Academics, Director from Health, Education…, and it went on.

I created a short list of some contempoary leaders who I believe are both inspiring and show a variety of leadership types. If you have yet to see them on youtube (www.youtube.com) or google (www.google.com) – take a peak!

1. Al Gore
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Simon Sinek
4. Vincente de Fox
5. Bill Clinton
6. Steve Jobs
7. Sir Ken Robinson
8. Seth Godin

Now, how many of these do you know? How many are names but not faces? How many are really GREAT leaders?

Here is a short list of some great leaders from the past:

1. Winston Churchill
2. Princess Diana
3. Mother Theresa
4. John F. Kennedy
5. Thomas J. Leonard
6. Michael Jackson

After much research and reviewing all the great leaders from both our past and present, I would argue that there are five essential qualities to a GREAT leader. As you read the following words and descriptions, think about how this relates to your own leadership.

1. 1.     Confident

A great leader must have a deeply embedded inner strength and confidence within themselves. In my opinion confidence is what separates those who are leaders and those who are not. To lack confidence is to lack the ability to lead.

1. 2.     Charismatic

Magnetic, compelling, captivating, fascinating, charming, appealing and enigmatic are seven synonyms for the word charismatic. After reading this list of words it seems impossible to imagine a strong leader without charisma. 

1. 3.     Understanding

A leader must be understanding and aware of others. They must have a sense of equality and understanding of all positions, perspectives and perceptions. A true leader has the ability to step into the shoes of another and see the world from their perspective. This position then helps them to lead from not only where they stand but from the opposing side too. 

1. 4.     Trust

When one has a deep trust for themselves and others they have the ability to lead, greatly. The word trust also encompass’ the idea that a strong leader knows when to step forward and when to step back. They trust their intuition, which allows them to know when it is their place to step in to lead and also when it is their turn to take a step back and give the spotlight to another. Trusting others to get the job done is a tremendous aspect of leading, no one can do everything.

1. 5.     Visionary

A “Visionary” is not only someone who has a vision but also the determination to take the actions in order to achieve it. Being able to hold a vision for yourself is difficult yet being able to hold a vision for a group of people, a country or the world takes unwavering strength and passion. A leader holds their personal vision equal to that of the people they are leading. They are positive and optimistic, yet also hold an element of realism knowing when to let go of a vision.

This article was written by Quin Simpson accredited coach.

This challenge requires more than just making a different choice.  It also requires a shift in behaviour.   In an episode a couple of weeks ago, a previously reluctant convert left the store and said that there was something about the store that just “felt good”.  She had been converted to new ways of shopping, cooking and eating and was keen to spend time in Arthur’s in store kitchen to further learn new ways of preparing food.  So not only is  Arthur changing the way people shop, he is changing  how they feel when they shop and what they do with their shopping once they get home.    He is creating significant and ideally sustainable behavioural change.

As managers we are often tasked with making changes.  Our role as managers is to ensure that the practicalities of the change happen.  Our role as leaders is to empower our teams to step up to the change and learn and grow with that change, creating a deeper cultural shift.  With People’s Supermarket, the shop will not succeed without the people, their commitment and their input just as our projects rely on our teams.  So what makes the difference between managing people through change and leading them?  Here could be the answer.  Arthur cannot enforce the changes on the community and with this power removed, he  continually demonstrates coaching skills in his approach to his members and his customers.  Through his coaching style, he supports customers and members inside and out change process happening in his store.  Here are some of the skills he uses:

Curiosity 

 When faced with resistance or negative responses, Arthur keeps asking questions.  He wants to know what his customers needs are so that he can find ways to make his store work for them and therefore, get them on board.  By staying curious, he gains insight into where his customers struggle and where they lose interest.  B asking questions  Arthur works through resistance and instead of giving up or sticking rigidly to his approach, he finds solutions that work for him and the customers.  This skill is vital in getting to the core of resistance, doubt and fear and instead find solutions.

Self-Management

Arthur’s task is often thankless.  The only feedback he ever gets is what’s not working and what people don’t like.  He finds ways of expressing his frustration away from the customers so that when he talks to them he is able self-manage his personal reactions and keep listening and taking what they are saying on board.  This lets him stay focused on the customer and curious about what is going on.

Dancing in the moment

No day in the store is without its hitches.  What gets Arthur through these ups and downs is his ability to stay with whatever turns up and respond to it.  He has respond-ability.  As managers, we are often faced with the unexpected, usually from the human elements in our work.  It can be easy to revert to familiar ways of responding which do not really serve us or our teams.  Rather than getting stuck in doubt, negativity or being right, Arthur recovers quickly and keeps moving forward by being able to respond creatively to what happens. 

Take Charge

There are times when customers want to help but genuinely do not know how the supermarket can work for them.  Just like there are times when our team members want to perform but honestly do not know how.  Its at these times that Arthur provides direction.  For example, when customers don’t know how they can use the supermarket to feed themselves regularly, he creates recipes and provides training in the kitchen.   There are times when clear direction creates a shift, new learning and ultimately action.

Fiona Monks CPCC is a Certified Coach with Striding Out who specialises in Business and Youth Coaching

Could coaching skills support you in leading your team successfully no matter what the circumstances?  Contact [email protected] for more details on our upcoming ILM in Coaching in Business for first line managers or to find out how one to one coaching could help you. 

'Why do New Year’s Resolutions end before they even began?'

Because, most New Year’s Resolutions address only half of the Resolution. Let me explain. 

Find out how to succesully complete all your resolution goals this year by following simple tips and exercises.

Confidence (firm trust/belief/self-belief) and self esteem (good opinion of one self/self respect) are closely related, complement each other, and are both fundamentally necessary at the most challenging times in our lives. These challenging times can include change – one of the few certainties in life, yet often one of the most feared. Even though change is often necessary, even sought after, when it is presents itself to us, even if it is consciously desired, it can bring up many difficult feelings and thoughts as well as those associated with the desire.

All interactions within a team either strengthen or weaken the team.  Relationships form the connecting threads that hold the team together.  When these threads are weak or broken, the team can start to breakdown, get stuck, pull apart or even disintegrate completely. When we strengthen these relationship threads through positive and constructive interactions, we create teams with high positivity and productivity. Find out how you can keep your team in excellent shape as you head into 2011.

Ready, Set, PRESENT!

You are standing in front of the crowd about to give your presentation. You feel those familiar butterflies in your stomach and wonder if your presentation will be a success? Is a presentation just a PowerPoint slide show? Follow these simple tips to ensure your presentation will be a success. 

Feel like the day speeds by without you?