Parenting
Have you ever wondered why our children in England are so happy?
How can we be so efficient and advanced at some things yet our children appear so lost and angry with the world? They are our future, our legacy, so when was it that we forget about them being the most important influence in our lives?
As parents we have the sometimes, overwhelming responsibility to provide, nurture, model and teach the “should do’s” and “should be’s” to our siblings yet we are still learning ourselves.
When our society erupts, the finder of blames comes back to us from the Government as the systems and structures they have enforced on us break down and fail. And whilst they have one finger pointing at them they have three pointing back at themselves we as parents blame the government back in return. In the centre of this is the children. Hopelessness is the child of blame so we have to intervene and stop the cycle now.
As I was sat pondering these issues and what the causes could be I turned the page of my book, “Eat that Frog” by Brian Tracey and read something that inspired me to write this piece.
“There have never been more possibilities and opportunities for you to achieve more of your goals than exist today…….. You are actually drowning in options.”
So what’s the solution?
To be a true leader, first of all we have to lead ourselves and to be what it is we want to see. So if we want honesty then lets be honest and not steal. If we want people to work hard then lets reward that behaviour and stop rewarding inaction and not trying.
Tips
Here’s some tips for parents and carers to grow happier kids and these are techniques for them as adults personally, not only for the to do to and talk at our children. Try at least three of these techniques everyday for 30 days until they become a habit and you will reap the rewards of your efforts and so will your children.
- Feed positive behaviour and ignore negative behaviour.
- Love and nurture – Leave kind messages under the pillow.
- Praise the little things and reward what you want to see more of.
- Channel your child’s energies to develop direction and focus – Take about where they want to be in 10years. Write is down as a game somewhere to return to another day.
- Give responsibility and allow the space for error. Failing is merely part of the learning process. If we set smaller achievable tasks we will reap the sense of achievement when we are able to do them.
- Tell them that they are the most important thing in the Universe. Use positive language. Tell them want you want to see, not want you don’t want.
- Make your love unconditional. Never threaten to withdraw your love or to bribe them with it.
- LISTEN – No, really listen.
- Help them to identify their strengths as these will build their resilience when they encounter future challenges. Tell them when they do something well and drop the “but “, and the “next time”.
- Give them permission to dream. – Draw it. Make it. Create a vision board.
- Teach them values and give them moral guidance. What’s important in your house? Honesty? Kindness? How do you want to be treated and what are you expecting of each other? Create a mission statement and display it on your wall together. N.B. This is rules made by you. This is how you want to relationships to be played out in the house and beyond – Your values and morals.
- Give them time. Time with you, time for them, time to learn, fall and get up again.
We are starting a new Young Leaders and Parent Leadership course in Birmingham.
If you are interested in learning more about this exciting course then contact [email protected]
