Building Self-Confidence : Preparing for Success
Confidence, Self Esteem & YOU
Confidence (firm trust/belief/self-belief) and self esteem (good opinion of one self/self respect) are closely related, complement each other, and are both fundamentally necessary at the most challenging times in our lives. These challenging times can include change – one of the few certainties in life, yet often one of the most feared. Even though change is often necessary, even sought after, when it is presents itself to us, even if it is consciously desired, it can bring up many difficult feelings and thoughts as well as those associated with the desire.
Change – desired or no- can come in many forms and is associated very much with the big seminal experiences in life: beginning and ending relationships (including divorce/bereavement); buying/moving house; starting/changing/ending careers; health issues; and there are others. In fact looking just at these few examples, you could fairly substitute ‘life’ for ‘change.’
It is often that clients can seek professional support when anticipating/going through change. Professional life coaching with it’s premise of; ‘everyone is naturally resourceful, creative and whole’; works with the client to access qualities, resources, creative skills - supporting the client to get back in touch with themselves, who they really are and what they have admirably, incredibly managed to achieve in their life. Around this, client and coach work on an action plan – applying practical tools to strategically work through the change. There can be something in approaching challenge as a grafter, skilfully labouring, applying good common sense and concrete work, but this is only the half of it. There is work to do of a different kind, on other levels.
Change brings with it reward, but this is only attained if we attend to what is needed/required, and learn the lesson. It requires, or more, demands confidence. In turn confidence is hard to find if a client’s self esteem is low. One of the rewards of change of course, is often an increase in confidence and gives in spades the self esteem that can ironically, sweetly, change your life...for the better.
Coaching gives the client space to explore their values; what is important to them, what makes them tick. It supports them to get back in touch with themselves, reminds them of themselves to be proud, on a deep level, of who they are; to get in touch with their very essence.
The coach uses various tools to explore issues of confidence and self esteem. One such technique is visualisation: and one particular activity; ‘peak experience’, takes the client back to a time when they were at their best; the coach helps the client to flesh out that particular time: where were they, who with (if with anyone); colours and sounds of their environment. The visualisation helps connect them to their feelings at that time, to what is important to them. The activity can help to clarify priorities, remind the client of their values, indeed reconnect them with their life purpose. And in all of this, can boost self confidence, and the client often emerges with a re-found self respect and self esteem.
Life can sometimes be experienced as chaotic, a whirlwind, sometimes seemingly life changing decisions are made in a moment, without the consideration we would give them ideally. Being in touch with yourself, and your values, rightly supports and informs you on this journey. With more confidence and greater self esteem, not only can change and life challenges be dealt with more calmly and ultimately more rewardingly, they can even be positively embraced.
This article was written by Rachel Harford, Career & Business Coach
