The Karpman drama triangle is a simple model of human interaction that will help no-end in the workplace. It’s also easy enough to remember without having to pull out your iPhone to look it up, mid conversation.
 

The drama triangle derives from the study of habitual psychology and Transactional Analysis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis) devised by Steven Karpman in the late ’60‘s ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle ).

The most favorable interaction between two people in the workplace is “Adult-to-Adult”. This is a mutually respectful, constructive interaction position for both parties to be in. Things get done, conversation is transparent and authentic. Sometimes though, we are liable to default to one of the 3 triangle points and start playing out this role:

• Victim: “I’m blameless”, “poor me”, “I need help to get through this”, “rescuer, can you help me?” Feels repressed, hopeless and dejected.
• Rescuer: “I’m good”, “I’ll save you”, “I am here to help!” “I have a compulsion to fix this”, “victim you need fixing!” Feels guilty if doesn’t help, gives the victim full permission to fail.
• Persecutor: If you play either the role of victim or rescuer for a period of time, and don't see the results you are hoping for, you switch and become the Persecutor. Getting frustrated, angry and start pointing the finger! “What the heck is wrong?” “I’m here, rescuing you and Victim you just don’t see that! (now Persecutor, was Rescuer). “How dare you speak to me like that!” ”I can’t believe you are making it all my fault!” (was Victim, now Persecutor)

Unless you have an awareness of the Karpman Triangle, interactions with certain people can become habitual and cyclic. Each of you going round from one point to the next in the triangle, neither making progress or seeing eye-to eye particularly, a sense of frustration and unresolved dialogue can exist. A waste of energy on both parts right?

Get some altitude

A great way of alleviating this pattern, is to:

• Pay attention to the position you have a tendency to default to, Rescuer, Persecutor or Victim.
• We are all drawn to play one of the roles more than another from the outset, having an awareness of this fact and getting some height or altitude will allow you to observe the interaction without being caught up in it.
• This means you can watch what’s happening between you both and actively choose to have an “Adult-to-Adult” conversation which is vastly more productive, respectful and progressive.